What Does Healing Look Like After Deep Loss?

Grief comes like a tidal wave. It knocks the wind out of you, pulls you under, and makes you wonder if you’ll ever breathe again. One moment you’re standing; the next, the ground gives way. Whether it’s the death of someone you love, betrayal you never saw coming, or the kind of heartbreak that cuts to your soul, loss has a way of making time stop.

For many, this is the very moment they consider turning to a life coach or even a spiritual life coach—someone who can walk beside them in seasons of loss. But true healing, as I’ve discovered, is more than coaching. It is holy, sacred work done hand-in-hand with Jesus.

And when that loss is senseless—like the violent ending of a life cut short—it leaves us reeling with questions we can’t answer. Why, God? How could You allow this? Where were You? These questions rise from the ache inside us because grief is not neat, tidy, or linear. It is messy, raw, and holy all at the same time.

The Weight of Loss

I’ve known grief. I’ve lost two fathers, a brother, and my mother. Each loss felt like an amputation of the soul. Birthdays, holidays, and empty chairs at the table became sharp reminders of what was missing.

And people, though well-meaning, often said things that only made the wound worse: “Time heals all wounds.” No, it doesn’t. Time doesn’t heal grief. In fact, sometimes time makes the ache more pronounced.

Others tossed out verses like darts: “All things work together for good!” They meant well, but in the rawness of loss those words didn’t soothe—they stung. Scripture was never meant to be used as a slogan. It’s not a quick fix. It is God’s love story, meant to be breathed by the Spirit into our wounds at just the right time.

What the grieving need most isn’t clichés—they need presence. They need arms around their shoulders, silence that honors the pain, and love that simply says, “I’m here.” This is where the heart of life coaching overlaps with ministry: not fixing, but walking alongside with empathy and faith.

God’s Whisper in the Darkness

One of the most important lessons God ever taught me came during my own pity party. I was overwhelmed, crushed by the weight of raising two sons with cerebral palsy, and drowning in self-pity. Then God whispered to me: “Walker, your perspective is all wrong. You’re measuring your pain by time instead of eternity.”

That whisper changed everything. He reminded me that seventy years of struggle is nothing compared to forever. My boys, disabled here, will one day be whole. Eternity dwarfs the timeline of earthly suffering.

This is what many mindset coaches or even confidence coaches try to teach: reframing your struggle. But in Christ, this isn’t just positive thinking—it’s eternal truth.

Perspective: What feels permanent in this life is only temporary in the light of eternity.

Grief and Faith Are Not Opposites

Grief doesn’t cancel out faith, and faith doesn’t erase grief. Even Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus. Healing after loss doesn’t mean you stop crying, stop missing, or stop aching. It means you carry your grief differently because you carry it with Him.

And here’s the truth: healing is not linear. Some days you’ll feel strong, and the next day a smell, a song, or a memory will undo you. That’s okay. Healing looks less like climbing a staircase and more like walking in circles, slowly finding that the circles widen over time.

God doesn’t ask you to get over it. He asks you to bring it to Him. Because when grief is surrendered to Jesus, it becomes something sacred.

Perspective: Death may steal today, but it cannot steal forever.

The Hope That Holds Us

Revelation 21:4 gives us this promise: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be death; there will no longer be sorrow or anguish, or crying, or pain; for the former order of things has passed away.”

Think about that. Every tear—gone. Every anguish—gone. Every coffin, every graveside memory—erased. And in its place? Life. Joy. Wholeness. Love without end.

This eternal hope is what anchors the work of a personal development coach or purpose and clarity coach—helping people see that life isn’t defined by loss but by God’s bigger story.

Perspective: What death takes temporarily, eternity restores forever.

Healing Is Holy Work

Healing doesn’t mean the absence of scars. It means letting Jesus turn scars into signposts of His grace. What once crushed you becomes the very thing that equips you to help someone else find hope.

Perspective: Your deepest wound may be the doorway to your greatest calling.

This is why I created Healing MY Story. Because I know what it’s like to sit in ashes—and I also know what it’s like to be lifted by the arms of Jesus. Healing isn’t about denying pain, numbing wounds, or pretending it doesn’t matter. It’s about facing the loss honestly, feeling it deeply, and then handing it to the only One who can make all things new.

For some, this may also look like reaching out to an online life coach or seeking guidance from a relationship coach or stress management coach. But true transformation begins with Jesus at the center.

When Loss Feels Too Big

Some losses feel unbearable. A young father taken violently. A child buried too soon. A betrayal that leaves you hollow. In moments like these, it feels like the grave has the last word. But it doesn’t.

Jesus does.

Perspective: Every struggle surrendered to Jesus becomes a steppingstone toward freedom.

Like I said above, Jesus said: “Behold, I am making all things new” (Revelation 21:5). That includes your broken chapters, your sleepless nights, your empty chair at the table. He doesn’t just patch you up—He restores, renews, and recreates until the day when sorrow itself will be erased.

Wanting What God Wants…

Healing after loss doesn’t mean pretending it doesn’t hurt. It means refusing to let pain define the end of your story. It means choosing to trust a God who sees what we cannot, who holds what we cannot, who is infinite when we are finite.

And what does God want? For you to want Him. For you to find, even in grief, a strong, close, deep, loving, personal, passionate, intimate relationship with Him.

So let yourself grieve. Let yourself weep. Let yourself feel the ache of what you’ve lost. But don’t lose hope. Because healing, though messy and nonlinear, is sacred ground. It’s the place where you discover that God is still with you, still good, and still holding your forever.

Perspective: In the light of eternity, even the deepest heartbreak is only temporary. Hope always has the final word.

Explore a Guided Prayer when words are hard to find. Each one is designed to help you bring your grief, questions, and tears to God. You can read them, print them, or make them your own.

Or submit a Prayer Request and let others join you in carrying the weight of your loss to the One who heals.

If you’re seeking more support, consider working with a Christian life coach near me or connecting with a certified spiritual life coach who aligns faith with personal growth.

Because healing isn’t about erasing grief—it’s about letting Jesus meet you in it.